A person I know has started sending out a group text that often includes scary news stories or generally bad ones. The latest closures, or newest announcement about staying at home, or the fact that people aren’t staying at home (which wasn’t news to me).
The people in this group are all adults, many with families, and we’re all working from home and limiting our activities and have been for three weeks. So we kind of know what we’re doing, here. I can’t block her or the group, it relates to my day job. Texting is the one notification I keep turned on for my phone.
I’ve dropped hints and even told her more than once that I prefer to titrate my news consumption, to check the news when I’m ready to and not follow the hourly harrowing headlines that I am powerless to change. I’ve done everything but come right out and ask her to stop sending the texts.
I was about to do just that the other night, trying to decide if I could text my request and attempt to set this boundary or if it required me to call her. After all, I don’t want to be rude. (Would a text just to her asking for this “favor” be rude?)
Then an even better idea popped into my head. I would return the text with a news article of my own. Only my news article would be a good news story. Because they are everywhere.
There are people doing the right thing all over the place and people thanking doctors and giving grocery clerks “hero bonuses” and serenading their neighbors from balconies. It’s heartwarming.
I mentioned my Good News Response tactic to a friend and she told me about a brand new channel started by John Krasinski called Some Good News. I watched the first episode and immediately subscribed. Let’s share the good news.
Yes, stay home, stay out of the way so this thing can be dealt with. But if all the people you know are already doing that, please don’t send them the most recent scary story or happening. Send them something to help them keep their hopes up and feel less fear.
Because fear actually lowers your immunity. Did you know that? I did not until I read this helpful article on Medium, which has gone viral. There are a few overstatements, but reading it made me want to tell the people reminding me that sugar can weaken my immunity that sure, I don’t doubt it. And so does fear.
And if you want a podcast that will give you another way to think about fear, then listen to Elizabeth Day on How to Fail interview Alain De Botton. De Botton is a philosopher, teacher, and best-selling author (so don’t be surprised to see his books on here soon) and his comments on not only fear but also grief and suffering and connection are comforting.
I don’t know why I’m surprised that talking about grief is comforting. As I’ve learned in reading and writing for my blog, the act of grieving is partly a way of comforting ourselves.
While I did plan ahead and stock up a little, in case I got sick, I’m about to need a few more groceries. Not wanting to run to the grocery store where I’ve heard the aisles are too crowded making 6 foot physical distancing impossible, and hearing that food delivery times were hard to get, I recalled another time in my life where going into a grocery store was difficult.
I had a senior Chihuahua who could not walk and I couldn’t leave home alone. I took him to the vet’s daycare when I went to work and due to my long commute, I could drop him off the minute they opened, and had just enough time to get there before they closed. Getting groceries was hard to squeeze in.
On weekends, I stayed home with him or took him for a walks in a stroller. So while inside spaces were off limits – and before stores in my city offered curbside pickup or delivery – I ordered everything I needed online from Target. I stuck to canned goods and dried grains and beans. It wasn’t the healthiest way to eat, but it was temporary since he was so old and would not live more than a year, I calculated. I was willing to do it as long as needed.
Until the day I carried him inside in a carrier that looked like a giant purse, the kind of purse I imagined was very common in New Jersey. We weren’t asked to leave, so my self-imposed grocery store ban could end.
So staying away from stores while still getting groceries is a skill I didn’t know I would need again. I did it then and I can do it now. But with curb-side pickup, it is even easier.
And curbside pickup was what I needed just today. The toilet in my apartment has the weirdest shaped drain bowl that is oval, first of all. But also has this trench or narrow divot in the back of the bowl that makes it IMPOSSIBLE for a normal plunger to completely cover the drain. You can’t get any suction, and water spurts up through the little divot.
I fiddled and fiddled with the toilet for too much time Friday night. It seemed maybe to work, maybe. I thought if I waited until Saturday, it would be better. Saturday came and it was no better.
I found a great plunger online that had the right shape for this bowl. Fine, I’ll order it from Amazon and pay for rush shipping, I don’t care, whatever it takes. Only the fastest shipping was “2 day” that actually got it to me in 4 days. Weekends don’t count, I guess.
Looked far and wide and lo and behold, my local Target had it in stock and I could pull into a parking spot and have it brought out to me. And it would be ready in about four hours. Actually, it was ready for pick up in two hours and I gave a very grateful thank you to the grocery associate who placed it in my open hatch.
Like the long forgotten can of Lysol you find under the sink (did not know I had that!) and the beautiful view out your window you never noticed until you sat in front of it eight hours a day doing your work from home, there will be small surprises throughout our days.
I truly appreciate it when the person walking towards me on the sidewalk steps off the walk to give me a wide berth as I do the same with a little wave. I truly appreciate healthcare workers (many I know) who are battling a fearsome foe – as well as the grocery associates and other essential workers also at risk.
There are people everywhere doing their part.
Support them. Stay at home. Share their good deeds. Find a way to express your appreciation. We’re in this for the long haul.
